ATIKU AND 6 GOVERNORS SPLIT FROM THE PDP!!!

Former Deputy President, Abubakar Atiku, and six Nigerian Governors have split from the PDP. This was THE SHOCKER at the recent PDP National Convention. The rest are Governors of Jigawa, Kano, Sokoto, Adamawa Niger, and Kwara!!!

• Ehennnn...and so WHAT? 4UKAAAASS!!! 'How can dat help d Ibos'???
• What use are you guys to Nigeria?
• Sebi na awa money una dey CHOP?
• Make una even carry gun kill each other...WE ARE GOOD!!!
• Useless lots. Do you know how d masses are struggling to buy beans and garri on d streets?
• As for Atiku, he tinks he is born to rule...if he cannot have his way, then nothing goes....useless WASTE-PRODUCTS!!!
• By d way dat foolish YORUBA man from Kwara...you still dont want to accept you are not a MALLAM...abi? Mumu like you. You are just a statistic to the Northern politics. Abi you no knowwww??? ODE.

GIRL SWALLOWS MOBILE PHONE!!!

This 19-year old Brazilian girl swallowed her mobile phone in an attempt to prevent her jealous boyfriend from reading her text messages. She lies in a hospital, after going through an operation to save her life!!!

• MUMURITY....your own don spoil.
• Is dat d best your little brain could think about? 
• Which boy desrves dat? Your papa no tell you say d boy sef na just ONE of those dudes wey go brush your KONKO BELOW before you eventually meet Mr. Right?
• Where have you been? We wish you safe recovery o.
• By d way dat your throat na EXPRESSWAY o...how mobile phone fit enter person mouth, not to tok of throat. When d tin no be FUFU or EBA!!!

TIGER MAULS BRITISH STUDENT IN THAILAND!!!

This is an INNOCENT British University student stroking a 'sleeping' tiger in a Monk Sanctuary Resort in Thailand. She ended up being mauled by another 400Ib tiger from the same Resort. She left Thailand with a 4-inch wound, and scarred for life!!!

• OYINBOOOOO...una no dey hear worddddd!!!
• Tiger no be domestic cat....If una wan live with wild animals make una kuku leave una BURGERS behind and enter forest/jungle go live.
• There is notin like DOMESTICATED or TAMED TIGER.
• Na too much good food dey make una no dey SMART/STREET-WISE.
• 'Hungry' African man sef dey look as eem go chop dat same Tiger...plus eem bones sef. But as for oyinbo...ee dey tink as eem go turn tiger into one BIG TOY.
• OK o....I don tok my own finish.

MORE CONTROVERSY TRAIL 'CHOIKI-CHOKI' PASTOR AS OTHER PASTORS CASTIGATE HIM FOR ADULTERY!!!

Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of the COZA Church has come under more fire as other pastors castigate him for adultery. Another DAUGHTER OF EVE has come out with more revelations  of his 'choki-choki escapades....watch out for ROFOROFO!!!

• I still cannot understand say some people go fit set up Church just in order to 4uk girls...ahhh ahhh. Nawa o. Na so d tin dey sweet you?
• I be tink sa na MONEY/EGO be d paramount reason, most times.
• No No No...dis guy is smarter than dat. He planned to kill two birds with one stone....Eemm own na Money o, Women o...God no dey vex. SMART ARSEEEE!!!

SECURITY TIPS FROM 'GODOGODO', THE KINGPIN ARMED ROBBER!!!

The notorious South West kingpin armed robber, Abiodun Ogunjobi (aks Godogodo), has rolled out 'security' tips as to how it took police so long to effect his arrest. He claims he always went abroad to Cotonou to treat his gun wounds, and never disclosed his home address to even his close friends. He also drove old jalopy cars around, and never attended social gatherings/parties, never drank, smoked, or womanized. Godogodo, who hailed from a poverty-striking background says he did not believe in charms and native doctors in conducting his operations. The 36-year old rascal was arrested on the 1st of August 2013, after months of pains-taking  hard-work by Police.

• MODA4KA...making life a nightmare for Lagosians and Nigerians.
• Poverty is no excuse for crime...4KERRRR!!!!.
• Over to YOU...awa yeye leaders...there are more GODOGODOs being born everyday into our ramshackled country. Dat means more nightmare for us all, including 4ukin Senators and Governors....if you don't FIX dat country with all awa abundant resources.

NIGERIAN SERVING IN THE BRITISH ARMY DROPS DEAD IN TRAINING!!!

A British Soldier of Nigerian origin, Michael Ihemere, collapsed while on a training exercise with his 1st Batallion Mercian Regiment in Yorkshire, England. He took ill after a 3-mile run across rugged terrain, and failed to recover. He joined the British Army in November 2011, after completing Infantry Training, and has served in Afghanistan. He was married to Blessing Ihemere.

• RIP...ma broda.
• You do well...Ee no easy.
• We remain PROUD.

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE???

CAN YOU TELL THE 'OBVIOUS' DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS MAN AND THE WOMAN???

• Na lie you tok o....Na d same person.
• Na dis same man dey wear woman cloth for club for night to entertain people.
• Eem say eem be DRAG QUEEN!!!
• Oyinbo/oyioncha/bature....Your own beta.
• For Naija...dem go say d man don CRAZE finish....ee don KOLO!!!
• See as he be like beta person for Suit...ee come be like Member of Parliament. Lol.
• I don dey tok am say too much GOOD FOOD dey cause craze sef....ennn true to God.

NIGHTMARE IN SYRIA!!!

These are BBC PANORAMA photo shots of the nightmare in today's Syria, under a callous and greedy President!!! Chemical warfare???

• My people...see wettin POWER dey do.
• May God not let us see dis in awa Naija...NEVERRRR. In Jesus Name ...AMEN.
• Me I don tok say d man na IDIOT...bcos ee no for let am escalate to dis level. D mumu for simply separate MONARCHY from d EXECUTIVE...d kain 'wayo' wey dem dey play for England, and yet eem for dey ENJOY like d Queen of England. But NO....d foolish man want to be KING and PRESIDENT. Ee no kno say Saudi na 'special case'.
• Eee no kno say MONKEY DON GO AMERICA...eem people eye don open pass d time wey eem papa dey there...dey oppress poor people. 
• Bottom line be say.....he go follow Sadam Hussain, and Gadaffi...abi? You wan bet? OK we go see.

LAGBAJA'S KONKO BELOW!!!

ENJOY!!!

PASTOR ANSELM MADUBUKO AND NEW WIFE!!!

The Pastor of the Revival Assembly Church, Apostle Anselm Madubuko is shown here at his wedding to Emmy Kosgei (a Kenyan), which took place in Kenya on Friday.

• CONGRATS.
• But sha if you ask me, I will say most of awa Naija Pastors love SENSATIONALISM and beta beta tinnnnnssss. For instance why must Pastor Xris Okotie (a good friend and mate of Maduko) marry a 'yello Mami-Water' with about 4 kids??? Why must Pastor Ituah Ighodalo marry an Ex-Beauty Queen??? D rest of dem are known to go after 'Half-Cast'/Mixed Race babes as wives??? Nawa O. Una don become SHOW-MEN.
• In dis case...Why Kenyan? And I dey LOOK dat dress for neck sef??? Why she no wear TURTLE NECK MAXI? Abi na like so OGA sef like d tin?
• I don't even know why I am surprised...cos one or two of d BIG NAMES in town were my classmates at school b4 dem accept God....Dey were D BADDEST BOYS IN TOWN....and believe me ee go hard b4 GUY-MAN fit change....walahi. talahi. Even if you BAFFF dem for inside LIQUID BIBLE (if there is anything like dat). Dis are JANDUKU guys....yeparipa!!! GEN-GEN...Actors!!!
• After all, pastor or no pastor...na d same EYES dem still get...so therefore dem must to fit SHADOW BABES like before before...d FLESH must still be willing most times ke.
• Anyway even God sef tok am say MAN MUST TO SIN. Yoruba tok say...ELERAN ARA NIWA!!!
• Bottom line be say ee no good make pastor dey single bcos ee go open way for temptation...abi? All those Church babes....DEM BADDDDD!!!!

BIANCA THREATENS TO DRAG FANI-KAYODE TO COURT!!!

Bianca Ojukwu, the wife of late Dim Emeka Odumegwu Ojukwu, has threatened to drag Femi Fani Kayode to court over his claim/publication that he had an intimate long-standing relationship with her when she was Bianca Ono (a spinster). Bianca claims she has never set eyes on Fani-Kayode, and has never met him in any public or private function. Bianca, who is now Nigeria's Spanish Ambassador, has instructed her lawyers, Wall Street Solicitors, to demand a public/published apology from Fani-Kayode, or face going to court in 7 days time for charges of Defamation of Character!!!

• Good for you...BASKET MOUTH.
• You dey WISH...abi?
• Well...make I see wettin you go do now.
• I DEY LAUGH!!!

KING SUNNY ADE POSES WITH D1 AND HIS FAMILY.

Dayo Adeneye, the Prime Time Boss, was recently in the UK with family to attend the Nottinghill Carnival. Here he is posing with Legendary Juju Musician, King SUNNY ADE.

• Hope una enjoy Carnival!!!
• I've never been able to fathom why ordinary working Nigerians would leave Nigeria to attend the Nottinghill Carnival...well I guess with you it is different. You be SHOW BUSINESS person.
• CARRY ON...D1....you are in order.
• Make una go replicate am for Naija, so dat UK people can spend money on awa tourism too...Anyway d Calabar Carnival try for dat angle..dat was ex-Governor Duke's handwork...korrect guy!!!.

FASHOLA PLANS TO BUY OVER THE LEKKI-EPE TOLL-GATES!!!

There are plans by Lagos State Government to 'issue Bonds' totaling 87.5 billion before the end of 2013 in order to TAKE OVER the Concession Rights of the Lekki-Epe Expressway from the Lekki Concession Company (LCC)!!!

• Hmmmm Nkan N'be!!! D tin wey dis Naira go cause for awa country....na only God go settle am.
• FASH....you dey disappoint me. I tink say you be prudent governor? How can you rationalize dat. It is like buying a DEAD COMPANY from d stock market?...on what basis?
• How d hell do you want to waste awa money buying d 'Right' from a Company dat belongs to your predecessor? You are basically enriching Tinubu further....aren't you? WHAT RIGHTS are you buying? A Negative Right!!!
• That Company has refused to perform for some years now...dey started off sharp sharp, thinking dey could charge Lagosians as much as 1000naira to cross ordinary Toll Gate. When dey saw d angry reactions of residents in Lekki, dey now decided to lose interest in d Road Construction...dat is why dey spent over a year between Chevron axis and d Ajah axis...doing shoddy work, and causing traffic nightmare to poor residents. 
• Una don go do backyard meeting, decide say una go still collect dat MONEY from us...abi?
• FASH...your problem be say, even tho you get small conscience...you dey FEAR Tinubu bcos na him put you there.
• Anyway...wettin man no see....GOD DEY SEE. Make una search una conscience, bcos one day na wan day...una no go dey there again o.
• THE ONLY THING CONSTANT IN LIFE IS 'CHANGE'.

NIGERIAN TERROR SUSPECT TO BE EXTRADITED BACK TO THE USA.

A Nigerian, Lawani Olaniyi Babafemi (alias Abdullah or Ayatolla Mustapha), is about to be extradited to the USA to face trials of Terrorism. He was said to have fled from the USA in 2012 after the FBI trailed him, and gathered he was providing material support to Al Qaeda. He was arrested in July by the SSS, and brought before a Federal High Court in Abuja.

• Yes o.....ONE DOWN!!!
• There are more BASTARDS yet to be caught.
•  I no kno wettin concern HUNGRY NAIJAMAN with Al-Qaeda.
• See those yeye boys wey go butcher poor soldier for London few months ago? What do dey know about Islam?...Dem go dey mis interprete d religion...giving bad names to korrect muslims out there.

'YOUNG SHALL GROW' TRANSPORT OWNER ALMOST ASSASSINATED!!!

Report has it that the owner/Chairman of the popular Transport Company, 'The Young Shall Grow', narrowly escaped an assassination attempt on his life, near his house in the Festac area of Lagos. Chief Vincent Obianodo was coming from work yesterday, when his vehicle was bombarded with bullet-shots on 22 Road, Festac Towm, Lagos. His Police Orderly and driver died, while he escaped with a bullet wound in his hand. Police Response Team were quick to the scene, and killed two of the attackers, while others escaped with injuries.

• Wettin dey do us for dat Naija...wey human life no mean anytin to us?
• I sure say na some LOSERS in form of business competitors/rivals dey try kill d poor chap, and d business empire he has spent years building up.
• Wont it be a BIG LOSS if dey had succeeded? Dis guy is definitely providing a big service to Nigeria and Nigerians. What he does is not a 'small-boy's job'...providing transportation on daily basis.
• At d end of d day d miscreants dat were paid to do dis ugly job could not have been paid more than 50k each...dat is how cheap LIFE is in awa Naija....if not even cheaper.
• SHAME on una!!!

POLICE IG, ABUBAKAR IN HOT ROMANCE!!!

The Nigerian Inspector General of Police, Mohammed Abubakar, has fallen in love again. It would be recalled that he lost his wife, Maryam, to cancer sometime in January 2012. The lucky lady is called Safiya, and we hear there will be a wedding in September, 2013.

• Lucky dude....After all BODY NO BE FAYAWOOD ke.
• Dats why ee good to keep trim....see as d bobo be like young school boy (like me). Unlike some of you over-blown OROBO Naija men!!! Too much bokoto/shaki/ponmo no good.
• Naija women sef dey sabi wettin good...dat is after d man don pass d MONEY TEST....bcos if KUDI/OTA/MONEY no dey dem no go look your side at all at all oooo.
• Upon all your fine body, or looks. Dem go ask you weda na dat wan dem wan CHOP? If you like make you no get single hair for head like Abubakar, so far EGO dey your pocket...you don pass.
• So therefore....Abubakar don PASS Safiya test be dat. Safiya's SMILE says it all.

WHALE WASHED ASHORE ON ALPHA BEACH, LAGOS.

This BIG whale was washed ashore at the Alpha Beach, Lekki, Lagos.

• No doubt dat dis whale own don spoil, bcos if na for oyinbo land dem go push am back inside water. But for Naija...walahi eem own don FINISH be dat. 
• Dis na real CHOPPIES for d local Beach Bums/Area Boys.
• I sure say dem go don share d meat before I reach there...or any News Reporters for dat matter.
• It shows Naija is still close to nature, despite all d yanmayanma (like shit, nylon wrappers, and chemicals) wey we dey troway put for inside Ocean. Aren't we LUCKY?
• On d other hand, maybe na d yanmayanma dey make d whales to RUN BELLE...dats why dem dey end up dead on awa shores. Lol.

THE REAL LAGBAJA.

Hey WHATS HAPPPPP....dude. Where have you been???
Some of us still long for your music. There are too many 'noise-makers' in the name of Hip-Hop, on the Naija music scene these days. I call them PANGOLO music.
Pleaseeeee DON'T FADE away. Yours is 'golden', and laden with meaning.
Give us MOREEEEEEE!!!

ENJOY THE BEATS OF NAIJA'S 'AFRICAN CHINA'.

THE MAN KNOWN AS AFRICAN CHINA.....enjoy!!!

ARIZONA MAN WHO FATHERED 54 CHILDREN!!!

This Phoenix, Arizona dude, Samuel Delbert Whitney, was said to have fathered 54 children before he passed on last month at the age of 87. The kids range from 69 down to 13 years of age, and are scattered all over the USA. He was known locally for operating a Wrecking Yard, and running Social Clubs.

• Your own betta....sebi na Social Welfare go cater for d children? Come try us for Naija, weda hunger nogo waya all of dem.
• In short CONGRATULATIONS for spending all your life-time 4uking, 4uking, and 4uking. Naim be say you be d ORIGINAL MODA4KA (better known as FADA4UKA) now. Abi wettin I go tok?
• Your mates dey contribute beta tins to America...na so so pikins you fit contribute....abi? See your ears like shovel wey wan fly.

SEX DISEASE AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE ON THE INCREASE!!!

Recent research has shown dat sex disease has risen by 50% among young people in the last 10 years, especially cases of GONORRHOEA. There is concern that the new super-strain is resisting treatments by antibiotics. A report by Public Health England, shows that there were about 500,000 new cases of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI) in 2012, including Chlamydia, herpes and genital warts. It went up by 5% on previous years, and 46% higher than 2003 when figures were first collated.

• Nawa o...Small pikins...make una learn to control una little pricks o. Abi una no know say una go still need d tin for many many years of ACTION to come? 
• D tin no dey change colour, or name....na d same prick u get now...naim you go still get when you be 60 years old o...so sofry use d tin o. PELE PELE DO WO YIN O!!!
• As a matter of fact some old men are worse...dem no get scruples. Na to chase and 4uk anytin in skirt. Even sef dem fit 4uk gun-hole...abi even bottle sef.
• Una never hear of CONDOM? Ok oooo. Me I don tok my own. Make una just stay clear of awa Naija, if una no want trouble.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY, AT THE LONDON NOTTINGHILL CARNIVAL!!!

• Nawa o....for every good thing, there is an ugly side.
• Who tok say na for only Naija people dey PISS PUT for every corner? See dis guys as dem face FIRING SQUAD!!!...no be small ammonia dem dey discharge for there.

AMAECHI AND HIS NORTHERN REBELS!!!

Barely 24 hours after the five Northern Governors, and Rebel Leader, Amaechi, were rumoured to have formed a new Political Party, VOP (Voice of the People), there is staunch denial from the said Governors.

• Well....hmmmm. I DEY LAUGH!!!
• Na God save una arse.
• It is obvious dis Northern Governors are only desperate to retain power, and are looking for a MUMU Southerner to use. Amaechi fits d bill.
• And I can bet you, dey are only prepared to give him DEPUTY PRESIDENT...as usual. Why dem no offer am PRESIDENT?
• Goes to show dat all dey do is use other people...just as dey used d poor Middle Belters for years, and DUMPED DEM.
• But unfortunately, for a DESPERADO like Amaechi...'Deputy President' position na serious PROMOTION....so he will be ready to sell his own people to play SECOND FIDDLE to mallams....gasikia.

CATHOLIC PRIEST ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS HIMSELF!!!

A Catholic Priest, Father Peter Ayala, attached to the the St. Thomas Moore Catholic Church, Sobe, Owan West Local Government, Edo State, has accidentally killed himself with his own gun, while attempting to clean it. It happened on Sunday morning, before he was expected to conduct an early morning Mass.

• How sad....RIP. It could have been avoided.
• I guess he was issued a gun for self-protection. He reached his own BUS-STOP in life.
• But suffice to say dat gun no be small pikin toy o. If you are not trained to handle it, you go fit SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT....worse case scenario you go kill yoursef!!!
• I don see big man hand dey shake like jelly before...all bcos ee hold gun. Dat is how bad. Abi you tink say ee easy to be 'highway robber'? Yoruba people say...'ATARI AJANAKU, KO N'SERU OMODE'....(Head of Lion, no be small pikin luggage).
• Some people no sabi say bullet dey hide for inside barrel of gun, even when you tink say ee no dey there...it is called PROOFING YOUR WEAPON. 
• And d golden rule of weapon-handling be say...YOU MUST MUZZLE UP, OR MUZZLE DOWN. Never point d muzzle (mouth) of a gun at anyone...even when it is deemed empty. D poor guy was probably looking through d hole of d gun!!!
• Before 'bloody civilians' get issued with fire-arms, dey should be shown d inherent dangers of weapon-handling.

STOW AWAY BOY, ALWAYS WATCHING MOVIES!!!

It appears our stow-away boy must have gotten his 'disappearance stunts' from watching countless movies. His mother, on being interviewed by the SSS claims he does not have friends, but only watches movies on TV. He had watched movies all night, and suddenly disappeared at about 5am in the morning, apparently heading for the Airport.

• Dis guy should be used in JAMES BOND movie.
• He don watch too much film sotay, he is mixing up reality with fiction....POOR DUDE.
• Dis na d problem of Western influence on awa native folks at home...dey tink say wettin dem dey see for TV na d real tin.
• Na God save YOUR BLACK ARSE say you no die.

GOVERNOR SUNTAI RETURNS TO NIGERIA!!!

• Na 'politics' go kill una for dat awa Naija. DOES THIS GUY LOOK WELL TO YOU???
• Dem wan patch am put for dat position bcos some idiots dey benefit from his being there....una dey craze.
• See as d guy dey fear to come down from plane. What a JOKE!!!
• D guy no even know where eem dey. He dey even dey do WRONG PARKING (ROUGH PACKING)....if you know what I mean....you know....you know...down down yonder.
• In short d guy no wear PANT/PUTU/DROSSS (one of d above)...or maybe na him prick just decide to misbehave bcos eem BLEACHED WIFE dey nearby. Abi na my eyes??? 
• Dis na wettin Yoruba people dey say...LAKUREGBE MU LEPON....meaning ....yanmayanma don catch blokosss.
• I dey laugh o....u dis Naija people go kill me for laugh. Dis na d original OTURUGBEKEEEEEE.

NAMIBIAN BEAUTY WINS BIG BROTHER AFRICA.

This Namibian beauty won and walked away with 300,000 dollars.
CONGRATS.

• At least no be Beverly Osu wey dey expose yansh for TV, and get 4uked by wan yeye street bum, win am!!!

ANOTHER 'PASTORAL EXPLOSION' !!!

IT IS NOT ALL DONE YET WITH PASTOR BIODUN FATOYINBO OF COZA!!!

• There is yet another confession from a lady in his pastoral group, known as FRANCA.
• Dis choki-choki of a tin.... I no know why some men cannot hold back?
• When you make mistake once or twice, you are supposed to learn from your mistakes....but NO. Some men just like AWOOF toto....unlimited.
• Well na wettin you dey look for naim your eye go see.
• Some people enter Pastor Work bcos of money, but it appears some people like dis man enter d tin bcos of TOTO. Na dat toto go kill you o!!!

'OMONILE' NIGHTMARE!!!

This young architect, Eniola Kiyesola, was beaten to death by 'Omonile', as he was busy supervising a building site. The miscreants had demanded for a mere N5,000 as charges for carrying out construction, but he was not forthcoming. The traditional ruler of Omo Ebi Bagidan Village, Sunday Bashorun, has been arrested by the Ijede Police Division. Matter has been referred to the State Criminal Investigation Department, Yaba, Lagos.

• God go punish dis omoniles...person go suffer buy land...he nogo fit enjoy am.
• Every minute of d way na to spend money on omonile....from Foundation to decking, to Roofing etc. Na real nightmare.
• Dis ones should be used as examples to others.
• They are d real GUTTER SNIPES. Dey use all their money to marry women, and buy Jeeps...their life-dreams/ambitions. Even to educate their children...dem no go do. POVERTY upon POVERTY!!!

CHINESE HATE AND INJUSTICE!!!

These two Nigerian women, Modupe Idowu, and Esther Jubril Badmus (also British Citizens), were thoroughly beaten up in Guangxhou, China, and thrown into prison merely for arguing in a shoe shop with the shop owner, who had attempted to cheat them.
They are still languishing in Chinese jail, as their travel documents have since expired. The Chinese police are complicit in the assault on the women, and everything seems to be against them.

• Na bcos of dis I don personally swear say until I die I no go visit China, Thailand, Mexico, and some of dis yeye Asian and Latin American countries.
• Dem no like black people at all, at all. And trust me, d feeling is mutual. So make everybody keep their shit to demselves.
• Dem no kno wettin be HUMAN RIGHTS....even animals no dey behave like dem. I heard of a case where their Customs planted cocaine on a black man at their Port of Entry. Na your word against their own. Wettin I go tok say I go look for, for Ching Chong Land??? In fact when dey HAMMER you....you are on your own o....walahii.
• Unlike Naija people wey dey nice to foreigners...dis people na how to WINCH you dem dey look for. And worse still dem no get fear of God.
• Dis world is so big dat such places can be avoided....simple and clear. Believe me.
• As far as d mugus are concerned every black man na MONKEY. Dat is how far their imagination can stretch...as restrictive as their slit eyes. Ennn...call me racist if you like...na you sabi.

PASTOR IN 'CHOKI-CHOKI' MESS!!!

This woman, Ese Walter, has accused the Pastor of Common Wealth of Zion Assembly, Biodun Fatoyinbo, of having a love affair with her. She claims he manipulated her SEXUALLY and SPIRITUALLY....whatever that means!!!

• Dis na d original SHOKI-SHOKI story.
• Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm...sometin dey o!!! Dis na KONKO BELOW language. And me I no understand am, bcos I be small pikin!!!
• D tin na long story o...but suffice to say Pastor get PRICK, so he must to get ACTION....especially when he be fine bobo.
• You take a look at dis guy shirt (SHINE-SHINE BOBO)...see as d tin dey FLY for neck. So how come church babes nogo YANMA for am???
• And then look d girl foto...ee be like sometin wey go fit swallow man up....kaiiiii.
• And at times sef dis girls no dey let poor pastor to concentrate for church...dem go dey expose d whole tin for front row.
• So Fellow Nigerians...please JUDGE FOR YOURSELVES.

WOMAN STOLE BABY DURING CHURCH SERVICE!!!

This 20-year old woman, Juli Makus, stole a 4-month old baby during a church service in Kado area of Abuja. She deceived the baby's 11-year old sister into handing over the baby, and then made away.

• Madam JULI...which wan you dey? You never hear of ADOPTION?
• It is easy to 4uk, but is it easy to have BABY?
• Thank God dey caught her....in the House of God, for dat matter?
• Ee get as ee be o!!!
• In fact I no sure say she be 20 years old...she must be much older....she go don CLIMB IROKO TREE, come down sotay, before she fit plan dis kain tin.

BOY STOWED AWAY IN ARIK AIR WHEEL!!!

This determined teenage boy stowed away from Benin to Lagos in an Air Arik Aircraft wheel. He managed to breach security at the Benin Airport Air field by sneaking into the wheel compartment of the plane. He was arrested at the MMI in Lagos.

• Apuruka d moda4kaaaaaa....chei!!! How you take do am?
• Nawa o...wonders shall never end for dat awa Naija. But how come d wheel no crush am?
• You dis boy na real MUMU. Your mates dey follow d tin go Amerikoko and Britikoko...na ordinary LASGIDI you fit reach. Your own don spoil o.
• D guy even dress well well for d occasion sef....with korect hoody. Nawa. Maybe d idiot tink say d plane dey go London sef....poor chap.
• On a serious note...dis awa national security na BIG JOKE. So ee mean say Boko-Nonsense people go fit enter d same place and blow up d plane in mid-air....just like daaattttt???.
•  Dem no get close circuit TV for whole Airport? Adamu Oshi-omo-le...wetin you dey do with awa money? Short man devil....so so babes, naim you sabi. You be d real OSHI OMO.
• Naija ....una don FAIL. Zero over ten.

IS STEVEN KESHI RACIST???

The Malawian Coach, Tom Saintfiet, has approached FIFA with a complaint of racism leveled against his Nigerian counterpart , Steven Keshi. The Malawian Coach had insisted that the forth coming FIFA World Cup Qualifier be removed from Calabar for 'safety reasons'. He says that the UK/Commonwealth Office have tagged Nigeria a 'no-travel' zone. Keshi responded swiftly by calling him 'A WHITE DUDE WHO SHOULD GO BACK TO BELGIUM'. We hear that the Malawian Coach recently married a Zimbabwean woman!!!

• Is dis RACISM..... or can it be classified a racist comment?
• Or...is it FAIR COMMENT....afterall the oyinbo Coach is casting aspersions on our very own Nigeria.
• On d other hand Is the OYINBO dude right? Afterall una fit kidnap all d players ke...abi na lie? Sebi we don dey rival Venezuela and Mexico for kidnapping.
• Also we hear say na black KONKO BELOW d Malawian Coach dey tackle now...so does dat make him one of us afterall??? Na so d dude dey enjoy awa Africa??? Bcos when awa black women handle oyinbo...no be small tin o. Dem no dey kno wettin HIT dem. Dat na wettin dem dey call I SHALL RETURN....otherwise known as 'JE MI MA GBAGBE'....chei...walahi talahi. Dem dey like am too much. Maybe na dat wan dey vex Keshi sef.

MIKE OZEKHOME, KIDNAPPED!!!

Human Rights Lawyer, Mike Ozekhome SAN, has been kidnapped along the BeninAuchi Road, around the Ehor/Ekpoma stretch.

• Another DENT in the fragile image of awa yeye country.
• Is dis poverty or RASCALITY?
• Wettin awa Law Enforcement people dey do wey ordinary rag-tag vagabonds go dey break d law like dissssssss!!!
• I bet you dey will part with big money again, even tho I kno for sure Mike will not ordinarily want dat to happen.
• D tin don taya me o. Anyway make d yeye kidnappers make sure say notin happen to Mike eem BOW TIE o...bcos na dat wan go vex me pass. Lol.

HAUSA/YORUBA TRADERS CLASH IN BODIJA MARKET.

There was pandemonium as Hausa and Yoruba Traders clashed on Friday at the Ibadan Bodija Market, Oyo State. It had to do with the Beans Sellers Association lingering matter, whereby some Yoruba Beans sellers were hacked to death sometime early June as they visited a market in the Northern part of the country in an attempt to purchase their wares. As a result, the Beans Sellers Association in Bodija had placed a ban on beans from the Northern part of Nigeria. However the few Hausa Traders in the market attempted to play smart by still importing beans, albeit, at a very exorbitant price...rising from N11,000 per bag to N20,000. Needless to say, the Yoruba traders decided to raise hell by damaging the trucks and produce in question. The Commissioner of Police, an Hausa man himself, had attempted to call a truce to no avail.

• God no vex...sometimes some people need to be given a taste of their own MEDICINE.
• It is no secret that the bulk of the foods produced in the North are consumed by Southerners.
• Dat is not to say we cannot produce such wares in d South...if d push comes to d shove. 
• So make una WAKE UP o!!!

TWO BOKO HARAM TERRORISTS DRESSED LIKE WOMEN, KILLED.

The Vigilante Youths of Jimtilo Ward of Maiduguri, yesterday killed two Boko Haram terrorists who were on their way to unleash terror on unsuspecting civilians.

• Nice wan...two more down for BOKO-NONSENSE.
• When bird learns to fly without perching, hunter go learn to shoot without missing!!!
• Let us get more of d MODA4KAS....damboroba shege.
• Una no dey shame....dey dress like d 'women' dat you really are.

FUNKE AKINDELE IS 37 TODAY!!!

Nollywood Actress, Funke Akindele is 37 years old today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, babe!!!

• Have yourself a swell time.
• And hope the 'right man' comes along.
• Abi how for do? Dat wan na serious prayers o....number one on d list of PRAYER REQUESTS.

KANYE WEST'S BABY....AT LAST!!!

Finally Finally...this is a released foto of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's baby. Her name is North West (what a name).

• So thereforeeee!!! Nigbana nko???
• How can dat help the Ibos???
• Does dat put food on awa table?
• Who come beg una to release d foto? I be tink say una dey hide am....una wan chop am...abi?
• Anyway d baby na fine baby...God save una. At least ee no resemble him papa. Praise God. Otherwise my yabbies for pass dis wan.
• Ok O...we don see am....lets move forward.

NOLLYWOOD ACTRESS, INI EDO AND HER HUBBY.

This is Nollywood Actress, Ini Edo, and her hubby...the CHARGE D'AFFAIR...as it were!!!

• Yes Ooooo.
• For every fine woman, there is a BABA ISALE....'taking care of business' TCB for yonder. 
• And I mean the other type of business (KONKO BELOW).....for those out there who are not so cerebrally endowed.
• Carry on broda....she seems to be very very SATISFIED, and saying ALL KORRECT SIR!!! 
• Poor chap...d guy looks a bit worn out.....abi na my eyes?

OUR OWN DEAR NOLLYWOOD TONTO DIKEH.

Here comes the Nigerian Nollywood Star, TONTO DIKEH....well plastered.

• See me see trouble ooooo.
• I just finish one big fight with one of my friends wey dey tell me say the babe name na TOTO DIKE...when me I know for sure say na TONTO.
• Well, maybe na me no sabi spell sha....u kno I no go school. But I sure say na me dey right ke...abi????
• Please make una (the experts) korrect me. You kno say I be small pikkin.

BULL-EYE....NAIJA STYLE!!!

This poor chap was shot in the eye by a drunken Policeman, in the FESTAC area of Lagos. The idiotic Police Corporal, Mohamed Abubakar, shot sporadically, killing some, and wounding others. He however  fled after the incident.

• Walking on Naija Streets na HIT or MISS. If dem no rob you, live Nepa wire go fit drop for your head from above, or make okada jam you from behind. D worst wan na when police tell you say na accidental discharge.
• Dis time around na wan yeye moda4ka policeman don drink BURUKUTU wey he import from his home town. D tin don taya man o.

IS ANDY UBA THE NEXT ANAMBRA STATE GOVERNOR?

This is Andy Uba, the OBJ Boy, sharing a hush-hush moment with Peter Obi, incumbent Anambra State Governor. We hear there are moves by OBJ and President Jonathan to impose Uba as the next PDP Governor of Anambra State!!!

• Are you surprised? NO...I am not.
• This is d complexion of awa Nigerian Politics...absolute poppycock...better still BULL-SHIT.
• So Anambra people (my inlaws) should expect another dunderhead as governor. More SUFFAHEAD years to come!!!
• How for do? Does Obi have a say? Which wan concern moin-moin leaf/wrapper as to how you chop the content??? If you like swallow am...ehennnn. If you like chew am o...ehennn. Na una sabi.

NIGERIAN EMBASSY IN OTTAWA CLOSED.

Irate Nigerians have gathered outside the Embassy at Ottawa, due to its closure. Many have come on appointment, from as far as Alberta and Saskatoon.

• Naija government...una no dey shame?
• We are like stray rats, without protection all over the world. 
• Naija embassies abroad have never been known to care for their citizens. Dey do not give a TOSS (4uk).
• Is it a SIN to be a Nigerian? 
• Meanwhile, the ambassador is probably busy hosting stupid Nigerian ministers to parties everyday, and sipping typhoo tea with red-faced oyinbo people!!!

BOOMING BABY TRADE IN NIGERIA!!!

This Cameroonian woman was arrested by Immigration Officers in Calabar for attemptng to leave the country with a three-day old baby she bought for N1.2 million, from a Matron in Calabar. She had been seen coming into Nigeria four days earlier without signs of pregnancy.

• Nawa o....wettin EGO/NAIRA/OTA/KUDI/KUSA/MONEEE dey do us for Naija.
• We dey fit sell awa own kids cos of 4kin naira....Dis na BIG SHAME.
• Is dis poverty? NO....it is GREED/WICKEDNESS/CALLOUSNESS/INSENSITIVITY.

MAN BORN WITH HEART IN HIS ABDOMEN!!!

This Chinese man lived with his heart in his abdomen for 24 years before correctional surgery. He is now recovering from surgery.

• Lucky 'devil'.
• Sometin dey dis world o.
• But most times na poverty dey cause all dis kain jagajaga tins. Where there is good health care, they are more likely to be prevented or discovered in time....abi?

MYSTERIOUS SEA CREATURE WASHED ASHORE IN SPAIN!!!

This mysterious sea creature/monster measuring 13 feet, with horns was washed ashore on a Spanish Beach. Scientists are bemused, and puzzled.

• Hmmmm. Sometin dey o!!!
• D tin lucky say no be for Naija Bar Beach ee land. Dem for chop am CLEAN MOUTH, as dem do wan unlucky Whale wey get stranded the other day. Trust ma people. Everybody just dey appear with kitchen knife from all corners, dey cut d damn tin to go cook soup for house.
• Meat na meat...God no dey vex. Hunger no dey discriminate.

FOLA ADEOLA SET TO BE OGUN STATE GOVERNOR.

The former Managing Director of Guaranty Trust Bank Plc, Fola Adeola, has flooded the Streets of Ogun State with his Governorship Campaign posters. It would be recalled that Adeola was also running mate to Mallam Nuhu Ribadu's bid to contest as the Presidential candidate for the ACN in 2011. He is now running under the All Progressives Congress APC.

• Yes...good Banker. But what makes you feel say you go be good governor???
• For Naija...once you have cheap money to throw around, you can contest for almost anything. There are too many poor mouths waiting to be fed in order to give their votes.
• Anyway, we will rather have you than that chop chop GBENGA DANIEL guy. At least you look sharp and focused....and your own CHOPPIES go dey in moderation.

BRITAIN'S MOST TATTOOED MAN.

This guy has 80% of his body covered in tattoos and 'scarification'.

• Hehehe!!! I dey laugh.
• Una own beta....when man no get problem...dey chop beta burger....dey collect OWO BABA, wettin ee no fit do? D next tin na to rub SHIT FOR FACE sef. God no vex.
• D time wey my fore fadas for Africa dey do dis tin, oyinbo tok say we be BUSH MEN. Now dem want die bcos of tattoo and facial marks. Even sef dem don begin like BIG YANSH and FAT LIPS.
• Nawa ooooooo!!! I still dey laugh o.

HERE COMES THE ENUGU INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT.

The first plane has landed at the new Enugu (Akanu Ibiam) International Airport. It was a private jet belonging to billionaire Arthur Eze, flying in from Senegal. By the time it is formally opened on Saturday, 24th August, an Ethiopian Airline is expected to land. This has come as a great relief to those in the South Eastern part of the country who usually travel to Lagos, Port Harcourt or Abuja to catch international flights.

• Dis na wan great achievement for Bros Jonah. Nice to know you are working.
• My in-laws in the East will stop falling into the hands of robbers in an attempt to catch plane for Lagos or Port Harcourt.
• Besides, trade go soon dey BOOM for dat side. Wait until other beta international flights start to land for Enugu....good for COMMERCE.