A CASE OF 'GUILTY CONSCIENCE'.

This dude narrowly missed being hit by a fast train on Saturday, at the Barking Train Station, East London. He stupidly took to his heels on sighting policemen on ROUTINE PATROL, thinking they were there to arrest him!!!

• Dis na d real criminal (JAGUDA BOY)....obviously looking over his shoulder all d time.
• Ohhhh... Why now? Why d Train no hit d moda4ka? Dat Train driver really messed up....ee for open faya...step on d accelerator ke.
• D bobo na OYIOSHI PETEPETE...Police still dey look for am...na real BAD MAN. Dem for employ am, make ee act James Bond Film, bcos even sef James Bond no fit jump in front of moving train like dis....sebi na STUNT MAN dey do am for JB.
• I hope say no be Naija o...bcos my people full Barking Area well well....na d OYINGBO of London be dat.
• Maybe d guy no even get PAPER sef...dats why he pik race....ee don see wettin go kill am be dat. Yoruba say...OBO LO'N PARA RE. (na monkey go take wahala kill eem sef).

DROWNED IMMIGRANTS ON THE COAST OF SICILY.

About 13 dead bodies were washed ashore on the Coast of Sicily, this morning, after a boat carrying 200 passengers ran aground. The drowned migrants jumped aboard when they experienced a rough sea, barely a short distance from the shores. They are said to be mostly from ERITREA, but could include people from Tunisia and Libya. The casualty included pregnant women.

• YEPARIPAAAA...which kain life be dis sef.
• All in order to run away from some GOD-FORSAKEN countries in search of greener pastures.
• Na useless LEADERS dey cause dis kain problems o, bcos good leaders FIX their countries...and those countries with useless leadership RUN AGROUND like dis ill-fated boat.
• There is no magic to a GOOD COUNTRY...what you put in is what you take out....GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT.
• May their Souls Rest In Peace...like d 'gentle ocean in the dip of the night'.
• What a SHAME.
• I dey happy say...at least Naija no dey dis wan...THANK GOD o....awa own na DESERT ROUTE we specialize in. Lol.
• Dats why I RESPECT my people. Naija sab NEGOTIATE RISK no be small. Naija go don rule am out say...me I no sabi swim o....wettin concern me with Atlantic Ocean, when desert dey there. Ee beta make I follow desert...patapata na food I nogo chop, and I go dey swallow my spit (saliva) go jejeje. God no vex....abi? Una too much.

APC SAYS IT HAS UNCOVERED PDP'S PLAN TO RIG 2015 ELECTIONS.

The National Publicity Secretary of the All Progressives Congress APC, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, has come out to say that they have uncovered plans to show that PDP is about to RIG the 2015 Elections.

• Dis guy...are you from another PLANET?
• What d hell do you expect? Abi, you tink you have given us wan kain beta Information?.
• Instead make una dey see as una go take WOO NIGERIANS at a time when bloody PDP is in disarray....una dey tell us BULL-SHIT story about rigging.
• You don see where INCUMBENT no dey rig? If na una nko? Fry pan dey call pot black.
• My friend...go siddon. Make una go do una HOME WORK. Una never serious.... alliance with people like BUHARI...dat na zero over zero.
• NATIONAL JOKERS....All Jokers Congress. When una for stand for grand KAKARAKA...una go dey team up with Buhari. Don't you kno Buhari only wants to be President at all cost? He does not give a TOSS about you guys. All you are going to end up doing is play second fiddle to an unrepentant POWER MONGER, and a FANATICAL MUSLIM who finds it hard to shed his military dictator syndrome.

PRESIDENT JONATHAN DID NOT SIGN ONE-TERM AGREEMENT.

While fielding questions from Reporters on National TV, last night, President Jonathan maintained he did not sign any one-term agreement with any State Governor at the inception of his Administration. He challenged them to produce the Agreement/Document.

• Dat na BOTTOM LINE....Oya make una go produce d document wey say a man must spend only one term bcos he is a SOUTHERNER.
• Yeye Governors.

PRICK-A-PAINT!!!

This Australian Artist is called Tim Patch (aka PRICKASSO). He paints with his PENIS!!!

• You dey CRAZE o....Your own don DABARU.
• If you no need your prick, why not chop it up into little pieces and feed it to d KANGAROOS?
• ARTIST my yansh. When people craze small for head oyinbo go say na ART.
• BABANLA BULL-SHIT.
• So you go dey take your prick dey put for paint, dey wipe blackboard everyday bcos you wan paint....when your mates dey take prick do beta tins wey SWEET well well. I sure say d man prick sef don NOK like tokunbo engine....ee no dey work again....KAPUT. Ee come dey DAA SI ROUGH for us.
• DICK HEAD like youuuu.

FIRE AT YABA COLLEGE OF TECHNOLOGY.

The Arts Complex of the Yaba College of Technology, Lagos, was gutted with fire early morning yesterday. Several documents, including past question papers and scripts were destroyed. The State Fire Service were there to put out the fire 50 minutes after it started.

• I hope say no be SABOTAGE o....bcos some yeye professional students no like exams, at all at all.
• Also how come it took 50 minutes to put off d faya...we go need to brush up for dat area, bcos for oyinbo land wey house dey burn like paper bcos dem dey pipe gas lines through their walls...Faya Brigade dem no dey waste time to respond and quench faya. Awa own houses na APURUKA blocks we take build dem, so dey are not as combustible as oyinbo houses....and yet???.
• Also we need to improve on our HEALTH & SAFETY at work places in Nigeria. I sure say dey no get mandatory standards, and dem no dey inspect dem to see if dey are equipped with ordinary functional FIRE EXTINGUISHERS. All dis tins no be joke. Ee get as oyinbo dey do am wey dem System dey work. No be say una go keep faya extinguisher wey dem don instali since 20 years ago...d time wey dem build d house. Abi una no kno say d tin dey EXPIRE???
• We need EDUCATION...full stop. Even awa leaders sef need am BADLY. Bcos if dem no kno...how dem wan make laws, not to tok of enforce d Laws?
• I don tok am say GOD LIKES NIGERIANS too much...if not, we no get SHISHI for yansh. Na so so MOUTH WE DEY.

BOKO-HARAM MASSACRE IN YOBE.

The Terrorist Group, Boko Haram, have this morning attacked a College of Education in Yobe, killing over 50 people. They struck very early on Sunday morning at the College, which is about 50 kilometres from Damaturu, the State Capital.

• Here goes d MODA4UKAS again.
• D leader, Abubakar Sekau, is definitely TAUNTING our clueless Security Agencies.
• Is dis guy a GHOST? Why is it taking so long to smoke him out? D other day dey were celebrating dat dey had killed him....well AYUAAAA.
• And I hope I did not hear well....cos I be dey read somewhere say Jonah wan send troops to Kenya???
• Which wan concern you with Kenya...when THERE IS FAYA ON THE MOUNTAIN in Nigeria. Abi dis man wan SHIT FOR CHURCH?

THE ART OF TATTOOING.

The 9th Annual London Tattoo Convention takes place this weekend at the Tobacco Docks, London, UK, and will feature about 300 'Artists'.

• See wettin Oyinbo dey DO. They call it ART.
• ME I call it MADNESS.
• D time wey African people dey do am before before, plus when we dey also cut awa faces with TRIBAL MARKS...oyinbo say we be primitive people.
• Now dem come carry d madness/craze put for head...wan start to educate us about it.
• If Oyinbo agrees dat it is an ART, dey should also agree dat dey stole it from AFRICANS.
• Na so Elvis Presley go steal Rock and Roll from awa dear old Black broda (CHUBBY CHECKER)....come make money finish for awa body.

BOKO-HARAM TERRORISTS BESIEGE OYO-STATE IN SEARCH OF BULLETPROOF CHARMS!!!

News is going round that Boko Haram terrorists have besieged the village of Saki in Oke-Ogun Area of Oyo State, in search of native doctors that specialize in traditional BULLET-PROOF CHARMS. The Security Agencies have been alerted, and warnings have been issued to all native doctors in the area. The dreaded terrorists are offering as much as N10 million for any such charms found to be potent (tried and tested). Boko-Haram have employed the use of Agents who take 40% of the fee, while 60% go to the Native Doctors.

• Nawa o...there is nothing you wont hear in Naija.
• So dis people think dat d real OPO/JUJU dey for Saki?
• Well I hope dey wont be disappointed, cos dey may not live to see d result of d juju....if it happens to be fake.
• My own take on dis is dat dey should ask d native doctors to collect their money, and sell dem DUMMIES...make dem go die. (useless people)
• On d other hand, it is true dat folk tales tell us dat d good old OYO HUNTERS used to wear BANTE in order to deflect bullets...but I can assure you say all d beta native doctors don die finish...na chop chop wans remain now.
• D problem be say we are too greedy...I can see some unscrupulous native doctors collecting money and doing d job, regardless of the dangers involved. N10 million na BIG money to dem. How do you STOP dat?

BOAT MISHAP ON RIVER NIGER.

At least 45 bodies were recovered, having drowned in a boat mishap around Malili Village, Borgu Local Government, Niger State. Another 100 others were still missing at the time of report. The boat was carrying 150 people. It happened Friday, 27th September.

• RIP to dem...dem don reach their own BUS STOP.
• Its no news dat awa Emergency Services leave a lot to be desired....dey are very much behind time.
• Awa government need to work on upgrading EMERGENCY RESPONSE for Nigeria. We have been too lucky so far say we no get NATURAL DISASTERS like some other countries.
• Naija people GOD LIKE UNA TOO MUCH!!! Ennnn...true to God.
• Did you see d Kenyan people as dem handle d recent Bombing of dat Shopping Centre. Dat was impressive, for African standards.

IWUANYANWU MARRIES A 26 YEAR-OLD BRIDE.

The billionaire businessman, Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu, has married a 26 year-old girl. His first GRAND-CHILD is aged 19 years-old!!!

• Oga Sir...Chief...OGBUEFI.....WELL DONE o.
• Congratulations Sir.
• I REST MY CASE.

WINNER OF MISS WORLD 2013 CONTEST.

The 2013 Miss World pageant was won by Miss Philippines (above), beating 126 other contestants. Miss Ghana came 3rd (also above). The contest was held yesterday in Bali, Indonesia.

• Make una dey deceive una selves.
• As far as I am concerned na Miss Ghana WIN am..W-I-N-N-N-E-R...Oh Oh Oh.....winner!!!. 
• Na we win for Africa jo. Philippines ko...filipino ni.
• Dem don do OJORO (Pashia). I no know say dem don dey SETTLE people for Miss World Contest now o....see me see trouble.
• How you go see dis kain Ghana babe, and you come tell me say you never see CHIC??? Tufiakwa...oyinbo no sabi beta tin....walahi.

PRESIDENT JONATHAN'S UN SPEECH (68TH SESSION OF THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY).

Mr President,

1.    On behalf of the Government and People of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, I salute you as you preside over the 68th Session of the United Nations General Assembly.  I assure you of the full support and cooperation of the Nigerian delegation.

2.    I also wish to extend our commendation to the Secretary-General Mr. Ban Ki-moon, and place on record, Nigeria’s appreciation for his focused and committed leadership of the United Nations system.

3.    This Session is coming at a particularly trying period when our world faces a number of critical challenges which make it imperative for us to work within the Charter of the United Nations to meaningfully address them.

4.    It is therefore apt that the theme, Post 2015 Development Agenda:  Setting the Stage, signposts our desire and determination to actively cooperate for the improvement of the overall welfare and well-being of the most vulnerable citizens of the member-states of our Organisation.  

5.    Nigeria appreciates the consultative nature of designing the Post-2015 development agenda. Earlier in the year, we supported this global outreach through inclusive consultations and surveys of a number of Nigerians who have expressed their aspirations with respect to the world they expect beyond 2015.

6.    A major highlight of this process, which has increased national ownership of the agenda, is the emphasis on the eradication of poverty as the overarching principle in the formulation of the successor framework.  

7.    Indeed, tomorrow, we will be hosting a side event on the implementation of the MDGs, in collaboration with the UN, a number of African countries, and our development partners.  

8.    As I had cause to say to this Assembly last Session, 2015 is not a destination but only a milestone to a better, safer, healthier and more compassionate world.  Let us therefore renew our commitment to the processes that will develop the post-MDGs framework.

Mr. President,
9.    This objective is of particular resonance to us in Africa where the challenges of poverty, illiteracy, food insecurity, and climate change continue to engage the attention of the political leadership.  

10.    The good news however, is that in the last decade, a sustained democratization process across the continent has made significant difference in governance processes, institutions and structures.  Today, we have a renascent Africa that has moved away from the era of dictatorship to a new dawn where the ideals of good governance and an emphasis on human rights and justice are beginning to drive state-society relations. This is the present reality of Africa that must replace the old prejudices and assumptions about the continent.

11.    We are firm in our conviction that democracy is fundamental to achieving the requisite stability that will enable the realization of a sustainable post-2015 development agenda in Africa.  

12.    This emergent Africa will require the continued support and partnership of the international community.  An Africa that is no longer merely a destination for aid but one that is involved in constructive, multi-sectoral exchanges on the global stage.  Our continent stands ready to continue to engage the rest of the world as a partner in formulating a global development agenda that will guarantee peace, security and stability.

13.    I wish to express my appreciation for Nigeria’s selection as co-Chair of the Expert Committee on Financing Sustainable Development.

14.    The importance of this Committee’s assignment cannot be overstated. For the post-2015 development agenda to be realistic, it must be backed by a robust financing framework which I hope will receive the strong backing of our Organisation’s more endowed members.

Mr. President,
15.    Nigeria’s commitment to sustainable peace and security propels the country to action along with member states of our sub-regional and continental organisations, whenever stability is threatened in our continent.  In recent years, Africa has had its share of conflicts notably in Mali, Guinea-Bissau, Democratic Republic of Congo, Central African Republic and Somalia.

16.    It is noteworthy that African leaders, with the support of the international community, have demonstrated the capacity to work in concert and decisively in pursuit of long-term solutions in the affected States. While a lot more still needs to be done, we are convinced that progress is being made.

17.    The recent Presidential elections in Mali herald a new beginning that should translate into peace and prosperity for its people and provide a stronger basis for stability within the sub-region.  I congratulate President Boubacar Keita. Similarly, the political transition process in Guinea Bissau holds much promise. Among African leaders, there is a greater determination and focus on the transformation of the continent. This is the required impetus for the achievement of development objectives
that will benefit the people, and rebrand the continent even more positively.

18.    Although our world has not witnessed a global war since the establishment of the United Nations, there have been several conflicts with devastating consequences and impact in virtually all regions of the world.  As global citizens, we have a sacred duty to free our world of wars, rivalries, ethnic conflicts, and religious divisions.  Our collective effort in our drive for a better world will continue to bind us together.  

Mr. President,
19.    Nigeria continues to support the efforts of the United Nations in addressing the global initiative to combat the menace of the illicit trade in Small Arms and Light Weapons. We have redoubled efforts to address this onerous challenge within our borders and across the West African sub-region.  

20.    In doing so, we also recognize the need for a broad-based global partnership in the on-going battle against trans-border crimes, including terrorism and acts of piracy. It is regrettable that these scourges are sustained by unfettered access by non-state actors to illicit small arms and light weapons with which they foster insecurity and instability across our continent. For us in Africa, these are the ‘weapons of mass destruction’!

21.    It is therefore, in the light of our collective obligation and unceasing struggle to end this nightmare, that I congratulate Member-States on the adoption of the Arms Trade Treaty (ATT) in April this year.  Our hope is that upon its entry into force, the ATT would herald an era of accountable trade in conventional arms which is critical to the security of nations.  

22.    In line with our continued commitment to this project, Nigeria has signed and ratified the Treaty.  We will continue to engage other Member-States for its successful implementation.

Mr. President,
23.    Terrorism constitutes a major threat to global peace and security, and undermines the capacity for sustained development.  In Nigeria, the threat of terrorism in a few States in the North Eastern part of our country has proven to be a challenge to national stability.  We will spare no effort in addressing this menace.  We are therefore confronting it with every resource at our disposal with due regard for fundamental human rights and the rule of law.



24.    Nigeria will like to place on record its appreciation to the international community for its support in this regard.  The reign of terror anywhere in the world is an assault on our collective humanity.  Three days ago, the stark reality of this menace was again brought to the fore by the dastardly terrorist attack in Nairobi, Kenya. We must stand together to win this war together.

Mr. President,
25.    Piracy, like terrorism, is another menace that has attained worrisome proportions, especially in Africa’s coastal waters. At the bilateral and multilateral levels, Nigeria has promoted cooperation to mitigate its impact and consequences on the security and economies of the affected coastal states.

26.    Indeed, in June this year, the leaders of the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS), the Economic Community of Central African States (ECCAS) and the Gulf of Guinea Commission met in Yaounde, Cameroon, and came up with practical steps to collectively confront the menace of piracy in the Gulf of Guinea.  This effort will, no doubt, require reinforcement and wider support and collaborative action on the part of our international partners.

Mr. President,
27.    The situation in the Middle East remains volatile.  The reported use of chemical weapons in the Syrian crisis, is unacceptable.  Nigeria condemns, in the strongest possible terms, the use of chemical weapons that are prohibited by International Conventions.


28.    We applaud the current diplomatic efforts to avert further escalation of the crisis.  We urge all parties involved to end the violence and seek a negotiated solution, including the instrumentality of the United Nations.

29.    The threat which nuclear weapons pose to the survival of the human race is to be understood not just in the context of aspirational nations but also the nations already in possession of such weapons. Nuclear weapons are as unsafe in the hands of small powers as they are in the hands of the major powers. It is our collective responsibility to urge the international community to respond to the clarion call for a peaceful universe in an age of uncertainty.

30.    We can attain this objective if we adopt measures and policies that will promote nuclear disarmament, protect and renew our environment, and push towards an international system that is based on trust, mutual respect and shared goals.  

Mr. President,
31.    I believe that I express the concern of many about the slow pace of effort and apparent lack of progress in the reform of the United Nations, especially the Security Council.  We believe strongly, that the call for democratization worldwide should not be for States only, but also, for International Organizations such as the UN.  That is why we call for the democratization of the Security Council.  

32.    This is desirable for the enthronement of justice, equity, and fairness; and also for the promotion of a sense of inclusiveness and balance in our world.

33.    Our support for the United Nations Security Council in its primary responsibility for the maintenance of international peace and security has been total and unwavering.  We have, in previous membership of the Council, demonstrated both the political will and capacity to engage in key Council responsibilities.  Nigeria has therefore decided to seek election for the 2014-2015 Non-Permanent Seat of the UNSC.  

34.    I am pleased to state that Nigeria has received the endorsement of the Economic Community of West African States and the African Union.  We urge this august Assembly to endorse Nigeria’s candidature.

Mr. President,
35.    Our world continues to be confronted by pressing problems and threats.  No statement that will be made during this Session can exhaust the extent of these problems.  The world looks to us, as leaders, to provide hope in the midst of crisis, to provide guidance through difficult socio-political divisions, and to ensure that we live in a better world.

36.    We have obligations to the present generation, but we have a greater obligation to generations yet unborn who should one day inherit a world of sufficiency irrespective of the circumstances of their birth or where they reside on the globe.  We must work to make that world a reality in recognition of our common heritage.

37.    We must strive to eradicate poverty, hunger, disease and human misery; we must eliminate the scourge of nuclear, chemical, biological, as well as small arms and light weapons. We must dedicate ourselves to working together to address global, regional and national challenges and deliver a more peaceful, equitable and prosperous world for all.  It is our duty.  We must not fail.

38.    I thank you.

NIGERIAN WOMAN DIES IN LONDON.

This 44 year-old Nigerian lady, Tolu Kalejaiye, resident in London, UK, was found dead in her home. Her 21 year old son, Emmanuel Oludotun Kalejaiye, who resides with her is being questioned by the police.

• Nawa o...Gone too soon. RIP.
• I wonder what the outcome will be....it will most likely be someone who knows her.
• My people, London na one kain place...if you happen to live in a rough area.
• We are awaiting UP-DATES.

COLOMBIA'S FEMALE PRISONERS IN FASHION PARADE.

This is a line-up of female inmates at the El Buen Pastor Women's Prison in Bogota, Colombia....just in case you have started to SHINE YOUR EYES.

• Well sha...NOTIN SPOIL.
• I can hear some of my readers saying...Sebi dem be women? You are right...as far as I can see from here, YES.
• But sha...O boy...some of dem dey jail for murdering their husbands o...others for Drug Trafficking etc etc. Dem be HARD CORE o.
• But d good tin be say...KONKO BELOW na konko below...weda you dey prison o... or you dey BUCKINGHAM PALACE....abi?
• Some of you Naija guys wey dey look for Oyinbo to marry by force....na here we go carry all of una go...make una go TAKE YOUR PIK....you go see wettin pass you.

MAC-11 MACHINE GUN FOUND IN JFK CEILING.

A Mac-11 Machine Gun similar to this was, on Thursday, discovered by a Maintenance man in the ceiling panels of a maintenance closet, above a Terminal 1 Office of the J F Kennedy International Airport in America. It was not loaded, and seemed to have been there for sometime, because the said office has not been renovated since the late 1990s. The gun is capable of discharging 32 bullets in two seconds, and was concealed in a plastic case!!!

• Cheiii...dat na faya faya.
• Another one bites d dust....dat is d fall-out of TERRORISM dat is plaguing our world today.
• It could not have been placed there for any good reason.
• GOOD JOB it was discovered.

LAND FOR SALE AT 'TOM ISLAND'.

SIX PLOTS OF LAND FOR SALE.
TOM ISLAND/VILLAGE,
OFF EPE/LEKKI EXPRESSWAY,
(ACROSS THE LAGOON FROM BADORE, AJAH).
DOCUMENTS: GOVERNMENT GAZETTE, & SURVEY PLAN.
PRICE: N800,000 PER PLOT. (negotiable).
SOLE AGENT: Pagewood Properties.
EMAIL: Pagewood@live.co.uk

KANYE AND KIM ON A FRENCH HOLIDAY.

Kanye West and partner, Kim Kardashian are in Paris for a holiday with baby North-West.

• Korrect guy...d baddest boy in town!!!
• See d KULELE SMILE on d babe face sef.....like say I DEY KAMPE....'na dis guy dey STROKE MY FAYA real good'.

AFRICAN QUEEN BY 2-FACE.

ENJOY!!!

NIGERIAN MUSIC STAR, 2-FACE IDIBIA.

This is the Nigerian Music Maestro, 2-Face Idibia, seen drinking PURE WATER. It would be recalled that he recently had a GRAND Wedding Ceremony out in DUBAI, which was attended by a score of Nollywood Actors/Actresses, and Nigerian Politicians, including the Akwa Ibom State Governor.

• A very talented guy.
• But 2-Face..I expected you to dey IMPORT water from DUBAI ke? Wettin come happen? Na COMMON PURE WATER you dey drink? I be tink say na champaign you go dey take rinse mouth?
• Me I no dey for d wan wey people dey go DUBAI go flaunt hard earned wealth, just to prove a point. What POINT? There are too many mouths to be fed in Nigeria. Even sef some of your AFRICAN QUEENS dey starve. You for just give dem donation (charity), rather than go waste money for ARABA people.
• Keep your SHIT in Nigeria...my friend!!!.

BREAK-UP OR BREAK-DOWN!!!

This is what you get for breaking up with a local NAIJA BABE.....that is if you have no Range-Rover that can be DESTROYED.

• Dis na ROFOROFO fight for Back-Yard folks....aka BUSH-MEAT.
• D wan wey go handle my readers na d wan wey go MARSH-UP your '4ukin' Range Rover Car, to stop you from posing for other babes.
• Dat na wettin we dey call JE MI MA GBAGBE (chop me, and no forget). 
• When dem HANDLE youuuu, you go remember d day wey your tin first POUR (Commmm). If you kno wettin I mean.
• So make una sofrey CHOP wettin una no fit swallow.
• HAYSHOBE girls boku for outside o....some go fit get MUSCLES pass you sef...when dem commot cloth finish.
• As I dey see dis foto so, ee be like say na d man JOHN THOMAS d babe wan grab so...naim be say d guy own don spoil finish...patapata.
• Eee beta to RUN pik race for dis situation o...shame no dey there .
• D tin come remind me of wan day wey I land Naija GBRA by Virgin Atlantic for early morning...naim I reach house come see people full my gate. Wetin Hapen wetin hapen...my mind just fly commot say weda na robbery don shele. As I come down from moto naim I see say my house-boy dey naked as dem don tear him cloth finish...I come see anoda babe (bush meat) dey hold eem pant tight. Dat wan breast dey bounce like 'bouncing-castle'. Naim my neighbour come tell me say na so dem dey settle fight everyday bcos d guy dey 4uk ashawo, and no dey like to pay dem.
• O boy...Na dat day d moda4uka commot for my house. 
• Shows you dat SHARA/ASHAWO no get anytin to lose o...dem go follow u enter HOLE, if you no pay dem.
• Just as there is no FREE LUNCH, there is no FREE TOTO. It is like PYTHAGORAS THEORY in Maths.

JOBLESS COUPLE WITH 6 CHILDREN!!!

This guy and his wife are JOBLESS. They have 6 children, and the UK government has just given them a four-bedroom house, plus £27,000 in yearly benefits (welfare). The woman claims she is unable to work due to DEPRESSION and mental health issues, while the husband has to stay at home to look after her and their six kids.

• Ok o...Fery fery Good. Good excuse.
• Una own beta....Make u come try am for awa Nigeria....wey person wey dey work eem arse never fit rent face-me-i-face-you room sef.
• Which wan concern government for give you house for Naija? If you like make your whole generation  CRAZE sef, and pack all your six children go stand for the main road wey dem dey follow go ASO ROCK, or APO VILLAGE. If dem no take moto jam you...you go lucky.
• Oyinbo...God don butter una bread...no be small.
• Dis guy no get problem...Na to dey do FULL-TIME 4UKIES naim he dey....damboroba. If any  government fit pay you to stay for home dey 4uk full-time...who go go any bull-shit work? When you no be MUMU. See as d guy face don DRY sef from too much 4ukis. Lol. Look d woman too...he don 4uk am sotay she don CRAZE for head.
• On d other hand, maybe na d sleepless nights from having 6-kids naim dey wear dem out. E get as ee be o!!!

THE CASE OF THE ANGRY MODEL.

This happened at the recent Paris Fashion Week. Some FEMINIST protesters went on stage to demonstrate their opposition to MODELLING. One of them received a punch in the face from the 'angry' model.

• Dis na case of frying pan calling pot black.
• See d people wey dey protest...dem dey show us their BOBI.
• Is dat not worse than d wan wey wear dress?
• Dis na FREE FILM SHOW ke.

BARAJE CRIES FOWL!!!

The leader of the New PDP, the break-away faction of the National PDP, has cried out that there is MASSIVE LOOTING going on under the Jonathan Administration. He said a manifestation of this is the fact that the Federal Government has been unable to pay States their SHARE OF THE FEDERAL ALLOCATION SINCE JULY!!!

• TELL ME MOREEEEE....You dont SAY? Mumu man.
• Guys...make una hear dis JOKER....he is talking to 'IDIOTS'.
• See the word he uses (SHARE).
• Sebi una don get used to SHARING awa Federal Resources at the expense of the ordinary man.
• Before wey una receive am nko? Wettin una give d ordinary man? How much una take improve una States?. No be further sharing una dey do? Sharing into your POCKETS.
• Besides what stops you States from producing or improving your own RESOURCES, instead of waiting for NATIONAL CAKE every month to share. You no dey shame? (somebody's fada!!!)
• Dats why una want power by force...becos na so so SHARE-SHARE una sabi...make d rest of us dey work awa arses.
• You are so stupidddd....you dis guy....ee be like say make i slap your worwor face.
• Of course we kno there is massive looting going on...were you not part of it? Do you tink we have been waiting for you to tell us about it? So you want us to believe you are not part of THE GANG UP  against innocent Nigerians...all bcos una dey fight for POSITION now. Na you be d SAVIOUR we have been waiting for all awa lives.
• So how does dat help D IBOS (d common man)...according to an old Civil War adage.

STRANGE BED-FELLOWS???

There is an uncanny relationship BREWING between these guys. Let us watch and see what UNFOLDS.
It is all in the name of POLITICS. But I am sure they are all wise enough to know that to eat with the enemy, you need a very very LONG SPOON.

• ASARI DOKUBO, AL-MUSTAFA, and MOHAMMED ABACHA!!!
• When CUNNY MAN DIE, na CUNNY MAN GO BURY AM o.
• I dey laugh....according to OBJ.
• But on a lighter note...dis two Northerners don take their tongue to count their teeth. Dem don realize say all dis big men for North are SELFISH BASTARDS. Where were dey when wahala hook dem for neck? No be Southerners help dem out of their problems?. D answer is YES.
• Like most of us, dem don realize say all dis Northern leaders have done NOTHING to improve d lot of their people. Na so so chop chop and 'enslaving' their people dem dey...and sending their own children abroad.
• Bottom line be say...dem don find TRUE FRIENDS in Southerners.
• Dey have SEEN THE LIGHT.....(Praise God). HALLELUYA!!!
• Welcome to MY WORLD.

BLOGGER LINDA IKEJI ARRIVES UK TO CELEBRATE HER BIRTHDAY.

The top Nigerian Blogger, Linda Ikeji, has arrived the UK (Heathrow Airport), to celebrate her birthday!!!

• Ehhennnn...and so WHAT? All na FEFERITY.
• Must you come all d way to London to do BATDAY????
• Dis is typical of awa CULTURE OF WASTE in Nigeria...come dey waste money for oyinbo land, when people dey look for rice to chop for nigeria.
• Are you telling me you have more family and friends out here in d UK, or dat you just feel KOOL doing it?
• Abi na bcos NEPA no go dey if you do am for Naija?
• Anyway sha...I dare you to send me an invitation, and I will be there to YAB you LIVE.

PROF. WOLE SOYINKA COULD HAVE BEEN IN KENYA!!!

It has been revealed that our Nobel Laurrette, Professor Wole Soyinka, narrowly missed death by not being at the Westgate Mall massacre in Kenya. He was billed to be attending a Litrary Festival with his deceased buddy and friend, Prof. Awoonor, but missed because of other pressing engagements in Nigeria. He said, in honour of his friend :
'Those who organized and carried out the outrage on innocent lives in Nairobi are carriers of the most lethal virus of corruption imaginable...corruption of the soul, corruption of the spirit, corruption of that animating humanistic essence that separates us from predatory beasts'.

• BABA....na true you tok Sir.
• I absolutely CONCUR.
• Dem dey worse than ANIMALS.
• Dey are bigots, and GUTTER SNIPES. 
• Dey cannot be said to propagate d course of any RELIGION known to man.

FRENCH NATIONAL KIDNAPPED BY ANSARU TERRORIST GROUP.

Photos and video images have been released of the French National kidnapped by the TERRORIST GROUP, Ansaru, a break-away faction of Boko Haram. It would be recalled that he was kidnapped sometime in December, 2012, in Rimi, Katsina State. Ansaru was known to have also kidnapped British and Italian Nationals back in 2011.

• Cheiii...poor lad. Dis guy go don sabi chop TUWO well well.....and CAMEL SUYA....see as ee grow BIA-BIA like d 4ukin Jihadists sef...and even wear their cloth (kaftan) sef.
• Dem (Nigeria and France) don almost forget say d guy dey with dis yeye kidnappers/terrorists sef....since December?
• O Boy...sometin dey dat Nigeria o. Na God go SAVE US.
• We really need to ATTACK dis kidnapping CRAZE well well, otherwise what is the point calling on foreign nationals to come invest in Nigeria? When even we d people are NOT SAFE.
• But for God's sake wettin any Oyinbo man dey go do for Northern Nigeria sef....I wouldn't even recommend it for my worst Nigerian enemy (d senators and governors/politicians). Lol.
• Una wey dey allow una pikkins to be posted to d North in d name of stupid NYSC...na you sabi o. Bcos let us be frank...we never reach dat stage wey anyone go tok say it is OK to DIE FOR NIGERIA. If you die for Nigeria...you are ON YOUR OWN. D rest of us go dey enjoy life go (your truly)....Na case of CARRY GO.
• Dat is REALITY. Dont blame me. I love my country, but my heart breaks to know dat my country does not love me dat much. Its a SHAME.

OKADA MAN GIVES UP ON LIFE!!!

Culled from The Nigerian Tribune.
This OKADA RIDER in Ibadan, Oyo State, flung himself under a truck (and later an SUV) in a frantic suicide bid, because officials of the State Commercial Vehicle Registration Unit impounded his Bike, alleging that his documents were FAKE. Despite being prevented from killing himself by on-lookers, he still ended up in a state of stupour/shock, foaming from the mouth. He was later whisked to the Adeoye State Hospital by Police.

• Nawa o...dem don tok am for Yoruba say...OLOWO LO MA KURE (na rich man dey die korrect death). As for poor man...na JEPEJEPE death dem dey die....like fowl (chicken).
• Dis na awa history o....D poor guy obviously saw his LIFE flashing before his very eyes. God knows how long it took d poor geezer to put together d cash to buy d damn moto-cycle in d first place.
• Dats why he kuku say...well UNA DON KILL ME BE DAT PATAPATA FINISH....wettin remain.
• I can understand d guy o...and I bet my last dollar dat he genuinely paid for authentic documents, but got fake ones...courtesy of the syndicate LEGITIMATELYoperating outside the Licencing Office.
• D government people should go after the TOUTS dat hang around Council facilities/offices, selling fake papers. Sebi na d government workers demselves dey support those touts. Abi who dem dey work for? Who dem dey DELIVER to? Afrerall no be say d poor guy siddon for house come produce fake documents. Na for una Local Government Licencing Office ee for buy am. And how is he supposed to know it is fake?
• Those useless people wey seize d bike wanted EGUNJE..full-stop.....bcos there is no way dem go release d shit without dat guy parting with big money...and d guy look up, look down, sotay ee come tok say...IF UNA SELL ME SEF, UNA NO GO SEE SHISHI (single kobo)....so make I kuku die for una neck. Dis wahala too much sef...abi na me KILL JESUS??? Wettin sef???
• Well I hope he survived d COMMA....poor chap.

PLOTS OF LAND FOR SALE AT 'TOM ISLAND', OFF EPE/LEKKI EXPRESSWAY, LAGOS.

SIX PLOTS OF LAND FOR SALE.
TOM ISLAND/VILLAGE,
OFF EPE/LEKKI EXPRESSWAY,
(ACROSS THE LAGOON FROM BADORE, AJAH).
DOCUMENTS: GOVERNMENT GAZETTE, & SURVEY PLAN.
PRICE: N800,000 PER PLOT. (negotiable).
SOLE AGENT: Pagewood Properties.
EMAIL: Pagewood@live.co.uk

WRECKAGE OF KENYA'S WESTGATE MALL.

SHAME ON AL-SHABAB.
SHAME ON SOMALIA FOR BRINGING SHAME TO AFRICA.

8,000 WOMEN AVAILABLE FOR MARRIAGE IN ZAMFARA (asap).

There are 8,000 able-bodied women (hopefully) available for marriage in Zamfara State. On Thursday, they matched to the Zamfara Hibah Commission to register their protest, to the effect that they are not living NORMAL lives and needed men to marry in order to be whole. They comprised 5,380 divorcees, 2,200 widows, 1,200 orphans, and 80 others, saying they needed men in their lives in order to meet up with their daily up-keep and sustenance. Their leader appealed to the Commission to help SCREEN men for them, by ascertaining their source of livelihood, ability to maintain family and HEALTH STATUS.

• Heh Hehh Hehhh!!! Wahala don SHELE o. Dis sounds like a joke, but it is actually REAL.
• Boko-Haram don kill all una prospective suitors finish, una come dey look for men. Well sha God no vex for dat wan.
• Dat una yeye former Governor wey go marry 13year old girl from Egypt...so ee see all dis women for ground, come go pik race go Egypt. Kai... dat guy na real BAD MAN.
• Well my only suggestion be say we go fit open register for all dis awa Nigerian men wey dey waste for Oyinbo country to see weda dem go fit pik wives for Zamfara...dat is if una people for Zamfara no go CUT dem hands for una Sharia.
• Believe it or not some Naija guys dey london...na so so GBURU (work) dem take all their lives do...dem no even remember to marry. To even chase babe sef...dem don rusty. Even sef d milik wey dey for their KONKO BELOW go don turn to Cheese from lack of use. 
• Na those kain people need help...we go introduce dem to dis AVAILABLE women...walahi.
• Dis na serious matter o. Make una no laugh...no be JOKE. I fit open Agency sef, and money go dey enter...yanfun yanfun.
• D only tin be say dem no go come live for Zamfara...make dem no go cut their hands for sharia...abi make Boko-Nonsense people no take dem make SUYA MEAT.
• Abeg anybody wey wan choose woman for eem broda wey don become family problem bcos ee refuse to marry...make una face Zamfara. I kno say una go don call FAMILY MEETING on top some foolish guys for abroad wey refuse to marry. To come home sef come pik woman...dey no come. To even marry oyinbo sef...dem no marry. I know d type. 
• Well dis na their last chance o...ALL ROAD TO ZAMFARA...straight. Dis no be go/come...na serious EMERGENCY.

BRAXTON'S HOT BACK-SIDE!!!

This is one of the famous BRAXTON SISTERS. They are a well known R&B Group in America. Their first single was called GOOD LIFE!!!

• From what I see here, she is indeed LIVING THE GOOD LIFE.
• Me I go look o....In fact I go even DO sef. Ah ah...wettin sef...You wan KILL ME?
• DIS IS GAJUUUUUU ke....OLEKU IJA ORE. She don make man body to stand KAKARAKA (attention).
• From front o...from back o...all na POI.....chei...dis is too muchhhhhh. Me I go just DIE for dis babe hand...walahi. (Make una no hold me o, I beg una).
• I sure say some of my readers don dey PISS for body sef. Ennn....good for you....make una dey read my BLOG well well.
• Dis na AYAKATAAAAA!!! AJAPAJAPAA!!! ASHUKUSHUKUU!!!
• I beg make dis babe no take mistake enter BROAD STREET with dis tin o....Those AREA BOYS will have a field day. Even Central Bank Staff sef go park moto to watch SHOW. Their Governor, Sanusi sef go commot him office come look...bcos I know say he like SKIRTS well well...not to tok of dis wan wey skirt don commot road (expressroad).
• Dis babe na d ORIGINAL PT (prick teaser).
• And believe it or not...dis girl papa na pastor o...nawa.

KELVIN OBURUVBE ARRESTED BY SSS.

Reports have come in that the KIDNAP-KINGPIN of Delta State, Kelvin Oburuvbe, has been arrested by the State Security Services. He was rounded up, along with his fellow SCUMBAGS while enjoying in a Hotel, in Port-Harcourt. It would be recalled that about two weeks ago he had issued an ultimatum to President Jonathan to grant Kidnappers Amnesty, or face the agony of having Oil-Pipes blown out in Delta State. He is said to be the leader of the group behind the MIKE OZEKHOME kidnap.

• Se una remember say last week I be publish dis guy foto and his jepejepe gang...and was asking weda simple police station no dey for d village where he for dey SHOW-OFF?
• God don catch d MODA4KA...and his fellow scumbags....see as dem wear CAMO sef? Dem wan turn Naija into Somalia...4ukin guy.
• Nice wan....ANOTHER WAN BITES D DUST...good job SSS.
• Nice to know awa SSS dey work...after dem don go kill innocent people for Abuja last week, say dem be Boko-Haram.....una still owe us explanation for dat wan bcos una no do 'consummate surveillance' (CS) there at all, at all.....dat na SHAMBOLIC work.
• Oya CARRY GO....in d meantime make una go ROAST dis useless Kelvin for una HQ...show am who be OGA for Nigeria. Eem eye go see pepper. Se eem tink say eem be tuff guy...abi? Anyway I trust SSS.
• Useless guy...people dey tok amnesty...eem too want amnesty for CRIMINALS. What a joke.