ASUU STAFF REFUSE TO BE INTIMIDATED.

The Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) have responded to the ultimatum given them by the Federal Government to return to work, calling it a JOKE. They insist on stepping-up their STRIKE!!!

• Nawa for una o.
• Dis na CAT & MOUSE game....I sure say dem dey fear small small inside dem.
• When two elephants fight, na grass dey suffer.
• Dis time na the poor Naija Students dey suffer.
• No wonder crime rate dey rise for awa country.

CRACK YOUR RIBS WITH LAUGHTER!!!

This is Hon. PATRICK OBAHIAGBON at it again, talking about the River States Political Quagmire.

• PLEASE LAUGH o!!!
• Me I don laugh sotay, I dey roll for floor.

PUNISHMENT: THE NIGERIAN ARMY WAY!!!

THIS MAN IS BEING PUNISHED BY A NIGERIAN SOLDIER FOR FAILING TO USE THE PEDESTRIAN CROSSING!!!

• Dem tok am say when a Nigerian soldier HANDLE you, when you see Police you go HUG am.
• Even tho UNIFORM NA CLOTH, NA TAILOR DEY SEW AM!!!

NIGERIAN MAN HIT BY LORRY ON THE M25 MOTORWAY.

A 53 year-old Nigerian man identified simply as Nicholas Nahinmu, has been killed by a lorry on the M25 Motorway in the UK. He had stormed out of his car while being driven to Heathreow Airport by his wife, after an argument over CREDIT CARD usage. His wife, Florence Olokun-Ola had stopped the car on what she thought was a hard-shoulder. The lorry driver claims by the time he saw the dark image in the early hours of the morning, it was too late to stop!!! He was on his way to boarding a plane to Nigeria..

• Nawa o...ee no easy.
• Money na d root of all QUARRELS between husband and wife.
• Sometimes sef too much vex no good.
• RIP ojare.

KEMI OLUNLOYO WANTS A HUSBAND BY CHRISTMAS!!!

Hear what Senior Girl, KEMI OLUNLOYO said........



IJN (In Jesus Name) Amen.....NOW I DARE YOU NAIJA MEN, BOTH HOME AND ABROAD. THIS IS THE CHANCE YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!

• Sebi una sabi chase women...abi?
• God don catch una today...Dis wan na by force.
• Dis na d original JE MI MA GBAGBE!!!
• But mind you...dis woman is not for d FAINT-HEARTED MAN. So if you kno say you be SPIROGYRA wey no get spine for back, make you no try am o....unless you wan sign your DEATH WARRANT. (no be for my mouth you hear am o).
• Suffice to say...YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN o.
• Oya...Countdown don start o....GBAGANNNNN.

MODEL NAOMI CAMPBELL.

OYA....WETIN UNA TOK?

• Me I dey see YAM for those legs o!!!
• But oyinbo tok say she fine...abi?
• Okay Now....God no vex sha.

MARIAH CAREY AND HER FAMILY.

Preparing for Thanks Giving, Music Star Mariah Carey, 42, hubby Nick Cannon 33, and the kids.

• NICE ONE.....yessssss.
• Omo Ele fun ra re!!!
• D babe dey REPORT.

BIG BOOM FOR CALABAR CARNIVAL THIS YEAR.

The yearly Calabar Carnival is to experience a BIG BOOM this year. It will boast of acts/bands from foreign countries like Trinidad, Brazil, France, Ghana, Rwanda, and Egypt. The Cross River State Governor, Liyel Imoke has also announced that our own very NOLLYWOOD have indicated interest in floating a band.

• Ehennnn...I trust una (Nollywood actresses).
• Anytin for SHOW.... U people cannot RESIST showing us your YANSHES...abi?
• No problem...God no dey vex. We are all EYES.
• But make una no tink say una go get 'Special Adviser' role before una come back come Lagos. Bcos Liyel no be Rochas....KAACHIKO? Me I kno dat for sure!!!

ASARI-DOKUBO TO JONATHAN!!!

On a lighter note.......Lol.

ASARI-DOKUBO HAS BEEN RELEASED.

The leader of the Niger Delta Peoples' Volunteer Force, and Activist, Mujihadeen Asari-Dokubo has been released this afternoon by the Gendarmes of Benin Republic. It is gathered that President Jonathan had personally intervened on his behalf. It would be recalled that a youth militant group from the Niger Delta had yesterday issued a 48-hour ultimatum, after which all hell will break loose if he was not released.

• Na God save you BLOODY GENDARMES from poverty-striken Benin Republic.
• Even tho I no kno wettin Asari do una...but those bastard Gerndames are known to HATE Nigerians.
• Dats why I dey vex say awa foolish government dey ban importation of cars again/increase in tariffs...bcos it only gives room for Naijas to go to Cotonou to import cars. And wettin Naija eyes dey see for d Gendarmes hand no be small!!! Dem no get decorum, and Human Rights no dey dem dictionary.
• Dem dey get INFERIORITY COMPLEX as soon as dem see Nigerians....useless French-Speaking 4ukers. No be beta french dem dey speak sef...na wan kain BROKEN FRENCH wey even French men no go fit understand. Me...I HATE DEM....bcos I kno say dem hate me.

FEDERAL GOVERNMENT COMES DOWN HARD ON UNIVERSITIES!!!

The Federal Government have today directed the IMMEDIATE re-opening of all Universities in the country. It further directed all Vice-Chancellors to advertise the position of any ASUU Staff who fails to return to work by 4th December, 2013. It would be recalled that Nigerian Universities have been on strike for sometime now, due to clamour by teachers for better conditions of service.

• Wahala don come o....
• Dats why it is a big gable to send your child to a Naija Uni...you can never kno when dem go LOCK-DOWN, or when Mopol go faya students with bullets.
• But make we tok true...those Universities are RUBBISH in terms of their living conditions. How can anyone tell me why (in dis 21st Century), a Uni would not have RUNNING WATER???
• And yet dem go dey expect dem to pass exams. Dat na d original SUFFERING & SMILING.

ACTOR LEWIS COLLINS IS DEAD.

The 1970s TV Star, Lewis Collins is dead. He died from cancer in his Los Angeles house. Collins was known in the 70s TV series called 'The Professionals', in which he was called Bodie. He acted alongside Martin Shaw (Doyle). He was a household name on UK TV in the 70s.

• Good old BODIE....action man....and fine bobo!!!
• In those good old days we all rushed home at night to watch THE PROFESSIONALS.
• Na dat time dem get korrect programme for TV...no be now wey be say na so so yansh una dey sho us for videos. I no even kno where to put my face when I dey watch TV with my kids. I sorry for una present generation.
• RIP buddy.

TRAFFIC JAMS IN NIGERIA!!!

This is one of the biggest HEADACHES we have in Nigeria. But have you ever wondered who, or what Agency is REALLY saddled by Law to CONTROL it???

• D problem is dat most times it is caused by some idiot like a DANFO driver, broken-down car/lorry, or someone without care and respect for other road users!!! He stays in d middle of d road bcos he knows nobody can accost him.
• Very often, dat is d least of Police problems. Dey are more interested in WETTIN YOU CARRY? And would attempt an arrest only if sometin go fit DROP.
• The so-called ROAD SAFETY CORP only seem to show up on d Express Roads whenever there is accident. And when you see dem in d urban areas, they are busy stopping lorries and commercial vehicles....all na EGUNJE. Ee be like say awa police don tutor dem.
• D poor Yellow Fevers have NO POWERS (even tho dey actually have) to arrest...all dey do is stand in d sun and wave their arms. When d whole bottle-neck erupts, dey go to d road-side and sit under d shade...or next to one guguru seller, chatting away.
• So who REALLY is in charge of making sure those IDIOT Danfo people don't mess awa lives up?
• Lagos State seems to have its own solution (LASMA). Dem too don dey chop EGUNJE. Dem eyes even red pass police own.

SHARIA POLICE DESTROY BEER BOTTLES IN KANO!!!

The Group known as 'Sharia Police' have publicly destroyed 240,000 bottles of beer, and hundreds of kegs of burukutu (local alcohol), in a bottle-breaking move to highlight the immorality of drinking alcohol. The consignments were mostly arrested from trucks coming into Kano. There was massive shouting of 'Allah Akbar' from the crowd, as the operation continued.

• I hear una. Naim be say some people (including moslems) go relocate ke!!!
• Kilo Mode Mo? (na small pikin no sabi anytin).
• I rest my case.
• By d way, dis Sharia Police people...dem be government Agency, abi wettin?
• Me I no kno say Kano don codify Sharia o.

BIRTHDAY CAKE...NAIJA STYLE!!!

HOW HUNGRY CAN YOU BE???

• Dis Naija woman is d original PT (prick teaser).
• If you see d real tin now, you go dey make YANGA.
• Dem no go kno say na so you like d tin reach.
• Kai...Naija women can POSE!!!
• If you see dat mouth sef, you go kno say no be today ee don dey handle dis kain tin...cheiiii.
• I HAIL o.

DRINKING AND DRIVING???

NEVER YOU DRINK AND DRIVE....SON!!!

THE CONTROVERSIAL GRAVE DIGGER!!!

This 59 year old grave digger was sacked by his employers when this photo of him appeared in the local newspapers. He claimed he was not 'saluting and smiling', and that he was attempting to shield the sun from his eyes. While some families have castigated him for being insensitive, others said it shows he is enjoying his job (dignity of labour). He had held the job for 40 years!!!

• Ahah...wettin sef. Man no die, man no rotten.
• Wettin dem want from d poor guy? So make ee dey cry bcos he dey dig grave?
• Abi is he d proverbial fly dat has to enter d grave with dead body?
• Britiko/Oyinbo people dey funny sef...sebi na eem work ee dey do jejely. 
• How many people fit do dat job? At d age of 59???
• D guy don try sef. If na me I go just go sue d yeye employers, collect beta Retirement money, go rest.
• Dats why I trust Amerikoko people....dem no dey waste time with Law Suits.

NIGERIANS SERVING JAIL TERMS IN THAILAND!!!

The Nigerian Ambassador to Thailand, Chudi Okafor, has said that one out of every five Nigerians living in Thailand is serving a jail term for drug-related offences. This means that out of the 2,000 Nigerians living in Thailand 400 are in jail.

• Nawa o...I am not surprised.
• Naija people tink say jail for Asia be like Amerikoko or Britikoko jail, where you go dey chop burgers and sausages for morning.
• Walahi...if you smell jail for Asia, you go kno say there is no other HELL...ever.
• In fact ee kuku beta make you go KIRIKIRI than Thai Jail.
• Bottom line be say make una stop dey disgrace us....those of you dat want FAST MONEY.
• Notin dey easy. Na small small...before ee reach your turn....and if ee no reach your turn, make you GBA KAMU. Naim be say na so God tok your own. Abi wettin you wan do?. Na my fault?

ASARI-DOKUBO ARRESTED IN BENIN REPUBLIC!!!

News reaching NAIJABLAB has it that the Leader of the Niger Delta Peoples Volunteer Force, and Niger-Delta Activist, Mujihadeen Asari-Dokubo, was arrested today at Cotonou, Benin Republic. The reasons are still unknown, but his Lawyer, Festus Keyamo, has implied that it may not be unconnected with 'certain forces' in Nigeria working in collusion with the Benin Republic Gendrames in view of the forth-coming 2015 Elections.

• We are all EARS!!!

NEW UNITED STATES AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA.

President Goodluck Jonathan has received the new Unites States Ambassador to Nigeria, Mr. James F. Entwistle, by accepting his letter of credence today in Abuja.

• Ok...Welcome Sir.
• Small time now you sef go go marry awa woman.....na so all of una dey do when sunshine don enter una body finish.
• Nigerian women na JE MI MA GBAGBE (chop me, no forget me)....and I mean dis in a good way. lol.

REBEL GOVERNORS' CROSS-CARPET!!!

The Rebel PDP (Peoples Democratic Party) Governors have finally crossed the line, and joined the APC (All Progressives Party). The aggrieved Governors reached this decision at a late night Meeting held at the Kano State Government Lodge in Abuja. The Governors are of Kano, Adamawa, Jigawa, Sokoto, Niger, Kwara, and Rivers States.

• Hehehe....YOUR SUFFER-HEAD just dey start.
• Make una go write am down.
• Who says the stage is CLEAR for you morons in APC?
• U guys make me sick. Shows you have no MANIFESTO or ROAD-MAP for your people.
• Can you imagine a Republican Governor in the USA crossing to the folds of the Democrats?.
• Or a UK Conservative Member of Parliament crossing to the side of the Labour Party???
• Naija Politicians....una own don SPOIL FINISH.
• Na my people I dey sorry for....a country where OPEN-EYE people are ruled by BLIND idiots.

THE CHANGING WORLD!!!

WE ARE IN TROUBLE!!!

MITCHELLE OBAMA.

Michelle Obama on Front Cover of Ladies Home Journal!!!

• Ok...we don hear.
• But madam, make you take style relax small o, bcos no be say you too fine sef, abi? And I sure say all dis oyinbo people go don curse you sotay for dem minds. 
• Everywhere we turn, we dey see you.
• You no get work again? Abi First Lady say make you no work?
• Dem don tok say if money no Shak man, position dey shak man.

SAUDI MAN DIVORCES WIFE FOR SMOKING!!!

A Saudi man from the Southern City of Jizan, has divorced his wife because he found a cigarette packet in her bag. She denies ownership of the cigarettes. Statistics show that 600,000 Saudi women smoke, making up a tenth of the over all smoking population of about 6 million.

• Una no serious!!!
• Wettin you for do if na IGBO/CANNABIS/GANJA/GBANA you see for her bag.
• By d way all dis cover-cover religious women...hehehe...na dem dey like enjoyment pass sometimes sef. Even their men dey shak beer clean mouth...no be small tin. Abi you wan try us for Northern Nigeria???
• So wettin we dey tok? Abeggi...go siddon. Dat man no wan do again...period.
• Eee no like d woman again...so he don see korrect excuse to find another woman.
• Smoke ko, smokii ni. Eem lucky say no be cocaine d woman dey sniff sef.

MICHAEL JACKSON & DEBBIE ROWE!!!

This is the late Michael Jackson and DebbieRowe (then and now), the mother of his children!!!

• We be MUMU...abi?
• Una never tell us THE REAL STORY!!!
• Una see where leopard dey born goat???
• And by d way...I don tok am say AGE no be oyinbo friend. Kai...see d woman then and now (d difference is clear). She don dey RACK, no be small. Na dat wan we dey call OLD CARGO for Naija. OTURUGBEKE!!!

THE GLAMORIZATION OF ABSURDITY!!!

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FASHIONABLE IN TODAY'S NIGERIA???

• Sadly....I call it 'THE THEATRE OF THE ABSURD'
• Ah ah, Wettin?....Dis na MADNESS ke!!!
• What d hell has happened to the future custodians of our cultural heritage (the younger ones)???
• Dis is where d craze for d elusive NAIRA has taken us.
• I FEAR ooooo.
• And by d way, any woman wey wan open yansh for us...make you make sure say you FINE. At least we go fit forgive you for dat. No be say you come dey show us wan kain WORWOR face, say make we dey happy!!! Na FULL PACKAGE we want. No come dey deceive us with big yansh here.
• Dat na my own view ooo. You are not OBLIGED to share it o!!! Bcos I kno say once some of una don see yansh finish, d wan wey dey do you don FINISH be dat. lol.

HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVE MEMBER DIES WHILE HAVING SEX!!!

NAIJABLAG has received unconfirmed reports that this House of Representative Member for Ilaje Ese Odo, Ondo State, Hon. Raphael Oloye Nomiye, died while having sex with his female Banker!!! The incident happened at his Gwarinpa Residence in Abuja, and he was aged 50.

• Dis wan na ROFOROFO of d century.
• Anybody wey get HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, go dey do 4uk 4uk anyhow....walahi na your life you dey take play. If you kno say you get high blood pressure...na SLOW MOTION you go dey do....Missionary style. No be say you go go dey try wan kain yeye DOGGY STYLE like dat. Like say you wan win gold medal.
• D tin must have sweet d guy too muchhhhh...ee get as ee be (sebi una understand)...when you don target d babe for long time...kai you head go don scatter finish!!! 
• Dis wan na lesson for una...d food wey go still enter your belle, ee no good make throat dey water too much for am.
• RIP to d poor guy. What an ENJOYMENT way to quench. At least no be kidnappers kill am.
• Dat poor woman don see WHIINNN. Wettin Police go take eem eye see, no be small tin.
• All dis girls wey dey like to 4uk poor old (and I mean RICH) chaps for MONEY...make una dey ask to see their MEDICAL CLEARANCE from Doctor before una open legs for dem o!!!
• I wish all awa governors and senator could follow dis guy foot-step!!!
• 4UK 4UK people.

CHIEF MRS AWOLOWO CLOCKS 98 TODAY.

Wife of the late Political Sage, Chief Obafemi Awolowo clocks 98 years today. A Church Service was held at Ikenne, Remo, Ogun State, in honour of Chief Mrs Hannah Dideolu Idowu Awolowo.

• Great Times....HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Mama.
• Her brain still dey SHARP like Razor Blade o.
• It is unusual for Nigerians to live dis long dis days o...na WAHALA and lack of good food dey PAFUKA us like flies. Even sef if moto accident no kill man, na robbers or kidnappers go YAMUTU man!!!
• For UK, I hear say dem dey even beg people to QUENCH bcos dem dey live too long, and putting enormous strains on d economy and Welfare System. Na so so old people full OLD PEOPLE'S HOME. Their Health Services don begin dey de-emphasise attention on anybody above 60years old. So naim be say 'you are welcomed to die'. Nawa o....I FEAR O!!! D age of 60 must not find me in dat kain country o. Na by force to die??? God forbid bad tin. Me I wan live long like Mama AWO. lol.
• Hehehe....dat na d difference btw planned society and UNPLANNED Society.

THE CLOWNING GOVERNOR!!!

Hear what this CLOWN is saying!!! Governor Aliyu Babangida of Niger State announced yesterday at the 25th Anniversary Celebration of the Enthronement of the Emir of Minna, , that he HEARD RUMOURS that the Presidency bribed 400 Northerners to betray the North. He swore that the culprits will be brought to book. He claims they are 'still looking for the list'. Governor Aliyu further added that because Politics is a GAME OF NUMBER,  the North will definitely secure the Presidency, come 2015 Election!!!

• I have said it all along dat dis CLOWN is only dragging issues with Jonathan bcos of his belief in NORTHERN SUPREMACY.
• Even if Jonathan were d best president Nigeria ever produced, dis clowns still wont be satisfied.
• He is not d least interested in d unity of Nigeria neither. To dem, Nigeria is SWEET only if it is RULED by a Mallam.
• To make it even worse, dey are AFRAID to break-up d DAMN country. Otherwise, what is d point dragging issues???
• What dis Clown should be telling his people is how dey should GET D HELL OUT and form their own 4ukin SUYA and GUORO country...and stop FEEDING FAT on poor Southerners.
• Abi NA BY FORCE???

KANYE WEST AND HIS BABE!!!

 



NICEEEEE!!!

• But na only these Gladiator Sandals I see wey dey ORIGINAL o.
• Every other tin....na FAKE!!!...yansh o, bobby o, nose o. Even the pose sef na wettin??? NA FAKE.
• Well na for una consumption. Una kuku like to see TORY and GIST...abi? So make una look well well. Without una, she no go make her money.

BOEING 787 AND ITS GROWING PROBLEMS!!!

The Boeing 787 Aircraft continues to be a problem for Airliners because of the risk of ice forming on them during high-level flights. It is gathered that thunderstorms could produce ice crystals on the planes powered by General electrics (GE). Japan Airlines is said to have pulled the new Dreamliners from two International Flights. It would be recalled that this same Aircraft has had issues with power supply, brakes, oil and fan shaft, plus plane fires. This issue also affects the Boeing 747-8 series, powered by GE Engines or Rolls Royce's Trent 1000. Lufthansa, United Airlines, and Cathay Pacific Airlines have also been warned!!!

PAST PROBLEMS WITH BOEING 787 DREAMLINER.

July 28 2012: A fan shaft fails during runway tests in South Carolina

December 2012: A Dreamliner was forced to make an emergency landing in New Orleans

January 7 2013: An unoccupied Dreamliner flight bursts into flames at Boston airport

January 15 2013: A flight made an emergency landing in Japan after a smoke alarm went off. The string of incidents led to regulators ordering a global grounding of the entire Dreamliner fleet, which lasted for four months

June 2 2013: Battery-related problems were reported on a Japan Airlines aircraft forcing the airline to use an alternative plane

June 12 2013: A flight in Japan was cancelled after one of the engines failed to start

June 18 2013: A United Airlines flight was diverted to Seattle due to an oil-filter problem

June 24 2013: A Dreamliner operated by United Airlines had to make an emergency landing in Denver due to a brake problem

July 3 2013: Polish airline LOT cancelled a Dreamliner flight to Chicago because the aircraft had ‘problems with the power supply'

July 12 2013: Ethiopian Airlines plane catches fire on the runway at Heathrow, forcing the closure of the whole airport

July 18 2013: Japan Airlines plane bound for Tokyo had to return to Boston's Logan airport after take-off because of a possible issue with the fuel pumps

November 2013: Japan Airlines pulls 787s from two international routes amid concerns about ice forming on the planes.

• OK o....make una no go dump dem for us for Africa o...bcos na so so Air Jets awa politicians and governors dey take awa money buy.
• Fellow Nigerians, make una watch out for Virgin, and British Airways o...make dem no go turn us into GUINEA PIGS. Dis na serious mata.
• Dem kuku kno say we no sabi anytin!!! Awa Government no dey take such tins serious. We no kuku get awa own National Airline. So we are at their mercy...even if dem convert MOLUE for us to take dey fly from Lagos to London (na yours truly).
• Which wan concern Naijaman??? Na EGO NE (how much ee go cost)...naim matter to us, more than safety issues.